The Dark Knight Rises

Yes sir, The Dark Knight Rises is officially the title to the third installment of Chris Nolan's Batman series. Here are the facts: No Riddler (Which I'm OK with because Batman has a ton of Rogues), It will not be filmed in 3D (Thank you Nolan!), and they're looking for a female lead (I'm hoping Catwoman but someone brought the idea up of Talia and the League of Shadows making a return.) So Nolan has definitely planted the "hype seed" and we're excited! (For all who don't know, when TDK was in production I was severely obsessed with the viral marketing and spent several late nights getting the "nerd itch". Cliff lived with me at the time and he can vouch for my trolling)



So what's everyone thinking? I hear the big rumor is Killer Croc. I seriously doubt it. I know they're filming in Louisiana but Croc's character never really hung out at the swamp and he was known for being in the sewers of Gotham more than the Louisiana bayou. The Joker to return? I won't put that idea down, I don't think Heath Ledger "owns" that character. Ledger's turn was incredible but I could see him being recast-ed and there's a line of A list Hollywood players waiting for their chance to take on that role. Before you object, Many of you were very angry at the fact that Ledger was taking the role that Nicholson set the bar for. (Jack wasn't that good. True story!) I always liked Ledger and Nolan hasn't let us down yet, If Joker ends up getting recast-ed it will make sense. Harvey Dent died in The Dark Knight. Everyone including Aaron Eckhart has said that Harvey Dent died, No one has said that Two-Face will not be in the next Batman movie. If you've read the books you'll know that Two-Face ALWAYS says that Harvey is dead. I believe that the actors and writers always intended to keep that part of the story intact, Harvey Dent died the moment he realized he was no longer Harvey Dent. (The part when he told the Joker that each side of the coin determined the Joker's fate) I also predict that the female lead will go to the Catwoman, It makes sense to have a character that is "on the fence", Its gives Batman a conflict that is mental and emotional as opposed to physical.



We can all be certain that the wild ride begins here! The Dark Knight Rises will now be on the tips of our tongues and on the look out for any info we can find. You can rest assured that I will do my very best to keep all of you in the loop and well informed. Run your questions my way and I want to hear your comments people! Don't forget to share my blog on Facebook and twitter! Also visit thenapalmassault.com and read our blogs!

Teen Moms are FUCKING STUPID!

We as a society have become enablers. We enable people to do stupid shit. There's a TV show on MTV that enables teen girls to embrace the worst decision they've ever made in life: become a parent at a young age. My name is Leo Perez and Teen Mom on MTV is a perfect example on how we've accepted teenage pregnancy as a form of entertainment.


I love using this exploding head picture.

I understand that having a baby is an extremely beautiful part of life and that most babies are a symbol of love between two people. However, If your kid doesn't fall under that category you are a shitty decision maker and your shitty decision will lead to my taxes paying for you and your stupid ass kid. I don't have kids, but I've been around enough people that have them to know that kids are a big fucking responsibility! When these damn teens have kids it makes me feel so bad for two people: 1) The Kid. The kid will grow up to be a felon and an asshole! 2) The Parents of stupid teen mom and teen dad. THEY HAVE TO RAISE THAT FUCKING KID!!! People at the age of 14-18 have no idea what it is to have that kind of responsibility! If you're an ex-teen mom or dad and feel like you did a pretty good job, please email me and if I know you well enough I'll tell you all the reasons on how I'm right!! If you can't handle certain truths then please just read this and hang your head low in defeat!


I've watched the 16 and Pregnant and Teen Mom shows, they are super entertaining! Watching train wrecks is a ton of fun, plus if you want to feel better about your life watch the show! (This will not apply to teen moms or dads as your fucking life is in the toilet and watching this show should only serve as a constant reminder of your miserable life.) The only smart kids on that show is the ugly girl and skinny kid who gave up their child for adoption because the girl had a TERRIBLE FUCKING LIFE!! The ugly girl had a crackhead mom and skinny kid's dad was in and out of jail. Those kids are fucking heroes, we should give them a medal. The other parents just make terrible choices every episode, its pretty brutal to watch at times. The thing that really gets me on this is that every year we'll get a new season of teen mom because girls will purposely get pregnant to be on that show, does anyone get on MTV's ass about this? Someone should, because there are a ton of girls with daddy issues out there that need the attention of a million television watchers! Let me ask you this: Do you think the fat girl and the fatter dude make good parents? THEIR KID CAN'T EVEN FUCKING READ!!!


I just really can't handle the fact that we're becoming "OK" with teens becoming parents, The dads don't stick around at all (they're little boys who wiggle their little dick in a snatch and think they're men) and teen moms usually hand the kid off to their parents and end up looking for another guy that will end up treating kid #1 like a piece of shit. Then that becomes a cycle for that kid to fuck his/her life even worse than their parents did! Wear a god-damned condom, trust me its not as bad as it sounds. I'll tell you how it works: Your peepee gets hard, you open a package of Lifestyles that you picked up at Planned Parenthood, you struggle with it for a minute or so, you wriggle it in the vagina, ask her who her daddy is, then 57 seconds later you climax in it. Afterward you tell all your boys that you boned the fuck out of her and left the condom on top of the trash cans pile so her parents would see it. Ladies you tell your friends that you gave it up to him and that he's the only man you'll ever love. Then 3 months later when you find out he fingered your cousin at your 15th birthday party, you won't feel as bad about the breakup as you would if a kid were involved. DOES ANY OF THAT SEEM SO FUCKING HARD?



I'm not dumb, I know teens will have a ton of sex and experiment with dildos. We need to make teen pregnancy shameful again! If you are 16 and pregnant you should be embarrassed! Your life is shit and your dreams have gone down the toilet! Abortions are OK the first time around (Hey everyone makes mistakes right?)but for the love of god guys wear a condom! It's not like you know what the fuck you're doing anyway! You haven't experimented any moves or perfected the "pull out" action yet. Essentially you're using a half-assed cum-shot on making a baby instead of spilling it inside of a Durex. Babies should be made with thunderous climaxes not pre-cum wriggle dick. I'M OUUUUTTTTT!!!!

The elderly are ASSHOLES!!!!

Yes, you read the title correctly! The elderly are indeed assholes! I know what many of you will say: "Wait'll you get old!", "You're gonna be sorry when you're an old man!!" and "Hey! The elderly are adorable!" WRONG! First off, by the time I get "old" there will be a cure for being old. Second, I'm never going to be sorry for anything. Being sorry is for pussies. Lastly, if the elderly were adorable we'd buy them at pet stores, bring them home, dress them in cute outfits, and line their cages with newspaper. Old people are bitter, smelly, ugly, loud, obnoxious, pessimistic, rude, over-opinionated, and utterly helpless know-it-alls. Yet they always demand your attention, respect, and expect you to bend over backwards for every twisted command they bark at you.

You're automatically going to think of your sweet old grandma who cooks for you and babies the hell out of you when you visit her. Here's the twist: when your grandma goes to the store or a restaurant she treats people like shit and is an annoying old fuck rag. Your cute and sweet old grandpa tips servers like its still 1939 and still rides on a high horse because he helped win the "big war" for us. NEWSFLASH: No one won a war for me or my people because if they did Arizona wouldn't be fucking over thousands of latinos with their racist ass law! Wake up people! The elderly have you fooled into thinking they are harmless and should be treated with respect.


Look at them. They are always judging us!

I can't talk about my grandma because I'm sure one of my family members will get offended and tell her, I'm sure then if anything were to happen (god forbid) the bulk of the blame will fall on me. So instead I'll talk about my friend Stewart's grandma! (All my close personal friends know Stewart, he's a total legend among us! He used to be a stunt man but now he owns a destruction derby car and competes for major dollars!!) Stewart's grandma used to have an African American best friend but Stewart's grandma would repeatedly blame most of societies problems on black people. Stewart's grandma is also a minority so its a blatant case of race on race hate with a little bit of double standard and a dash of FUCKING SENILE!!! Old people cannot be trusted with your secrets because they'll tell everyone what you're up to, They will pit you against other loved ones because they get off on making everyone miserable, and you will never know as much as they do because they've been around longer than you have so therefore they're smarter! I CALL BULLSHIT ON THAT ONE FOLKS! If old people were so fucking smart they wouldn't be a constant victim of scams and get rich quick schemes! If they were smart they wouldn't look confused every time they went to the grocery store and stared at the credit card machine making lines longer and slowing down everything at the register! YOU SLIDE YOUR CARD AND YOU SIGN YOUR FUCKING NAME! Here's the kicker, If they can't figure out a simple credit card transaction HOW ARE THESE PEOPLE DRIVING!!!


FUCK YOU LADY!!!

You see these old bastards barely able to comprehend anything, then you see their frail bodies, add in their TERRIBLE reflexes. What do you get? A RECIPE FOR DISASTER!!! I'm not a scientist but I know a dude who thinks he is, He says that 75% of traffic accidents are caused by old ass bastard elderly people! The other 25% is women but I call bullshit on that cause I'd blame Asians for at least 19%. They don't know what the hell is going on most of the time, HOW ARE THESE PEOPLE ALLOWED TO DRIVE???

I was at a store today and an old man took time out of his shopping to complain to an employee that the music was too loud, and that the choice of music was horrible. The employee gave in to his demands and the old man then proceeded to go pay at the register. HE WAS ALREADY LEAVING!!!! HE WAS ALREADY LEAVING, BUT HE DECIDED TO COMPLAIN ABOUT SOMETHING HE DIDN'T HAVE TO PUT UP WITH ANYMORE ANYWAY!!!!! AAAAARRRRRRGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!! Like for real dude? That's what made him happy? That small pathetic victory made that old cunt feel like a big man? This train of thought doesn't make sense to me! Why do old people feel a sense of entitlement when it comes to shit like this? WHY?!!!


I've always wanted to post a picture of a head exploding.

BTW, after taking a couple of months off I'm back. I'm going to commit to a blog a week and you're gonna see a big change to thenapalmassault.com in the next few weeks! Thanks for reading!