The elderly are ASSHOLES!!!!

Yes, you read the title correctly! The elderly are indeed assholes! I know what many of you will say: "Wait'll you get old!", "You're gonna be sorry when you're an old man!!" and "Hey! The elderly are adorable!" WRONG! First off, by the time I get "old" there will be a cure for being old. Second, I'm never going to be sorry for anything. Being sorry is for pussies. Lastly, if the elderly were adorable we'd buy them at pet stores, bring them home, dress them in cute outfits, and line their cages with newspaper. Old people are bitter, smelly, ugly, loud, obnoxious, pessimistic, rude, over-opinionated, and utterly helpless know-it-alls. Yet they always demand your attention, respect, and expect you to bend over backwards for every twisted command they bark at you.

You're automatically going to think of your sweet old grandma who cooks for you and babies the hell out of you when you visit her. Here's the twist: when your grandma goes to the store or a restaurant she treats people like shit and is an annoying old fuck rag. Your cute and sweet old grandpa tips servers like its still 1939 and still rides on a high horse because he helped win the "big war" for us. NEWSFLASH: No one won a war for me or my people because if they did Arizona wouldn't be fucking over thousands of latinos with their racist ass law! Wake up people! The elderly have you fooled into thinking they are harmless and should be treated with respect.


Look at them. They are always judging us!

I can't talk about my grandma because I'm sure one of my family members will get offended and tell her, I'm sure then if anything were to happen (god forbid) the bulk of the blame will fall on me. So instead I'll talk about my friend Stewart's grandma! (All my close personal friends know Stewart, he's a total legend among us! He used to be a stunt man but now he owns a destruction derby car and competes for major dollars!!) Stewart's grandma used to have an African American best friend but Stewart's grandma would repeatedly blame most of societies problems on black people. Stewart's grandma is also a minority so its a blatant case of race on race hate with a little bit of double standard and a dash of FUCKING SENILE!!! Old people cannot be trusted with your secrets because they'll tell everyone what you're up to, They will pit you against other loved ones because they get off on making everyone miserable, and you will never know as much as they do because they've been around longer than you have so therefore they're smarter! I CALL BULLSHIT ON THAT ONE FOLKS! If old people were so fucking smart they wouldn't be a constant victim of scams and get rich quick schemes! If they were smart they wouldn't look confused every time they went to the grocery store and stared at the credit card machine making lines longer and slowing down everything at the register! YOU SLIDE YOUR CARD AND YOU SIGN YOUR FUCKING NAME! Here's the kicker, If they can't figure out a simple credit card transaction HOW ARE THESE PEOPLE DRIVING!!!


FUCK YOU LADY!!!

You see these old bastards barely able to comprehend anything, then you see their frail bodies, add in their TERRIBLE reflexes. What do you get? A RECIPE FOR DISASTER!!! I'm not a scientist but I know a dude who thinks he is, He says that 75% of traffic accidents are caused by old ass bastard elderly people! The other 25% is women but I call bullshit on that cause I'd blame Asians for at least 19%. They don't know what the hell is going on most of the time, HOW ARE THESE PEOPLE ALLOWED TO DRIVE???

I was at a store today and an old man took time out of his shopping to complain to an employee that the music was too loud, and that the choice of music was horrible. The employee gave in to his demands and the old man then proceeded to go pay at the register. HE WAS ALREADY LEAVING!!!! HE WAS ALREADY LEAVING, BUT HE DECIDED TO COMPLAIN ABOUT SOMETHING HE DIDN'T HAVE TO PUT UP WITH ANYMORE ANYWAY!!!!! AAAAARRRRRRGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!! Like for real dude? That's what made him happy? That small pathetic victory made that old cunt feel like a big man? This train of thought doesn't make sense to me! Why do old people feel a sense of entitlement when it comes to shit like this? WHY?!!!


I've always wanted to post a picture of a head exploding.

BTW, after taking a couple of months off I'm back. I'm going to commit to a blog a week and you're gonna see a big change to thenapalmassault.com in the next few weeks! Thanks for reading!